What’s predictable about life?

November 20th, 2007 by Abe Kass

I don’t know about you, but more than several times my head has spun. I thought something was going one way, and then it went the other way. And often within a few seconds.

Examples:

• Health to illness
• Illness to health
• Wealth to poverty
• Poverty to wealth
• Strength to weakness
• Weakness to strength
• Hope to fear
• Fear to hope

Be a winner. Recognize how life is, and fittingly adjust your expectations. Doing so allows you to minimize, eliminate, or even benefit from the very thing not wanted.

Margaret had strong signs she had cancer. She was a nervous wreck for three months taking test after test, until finally the doctor proclaimed her healthy. Margaret ruined three months of her life worrying needlessly.

Sheila and Mark had been fighting for years. Avoiding each other they fell into some serous vice. Sheila realized that her only hope for love was with her husband Mark. They went for marriage counseling and renewed their marriage, reclaiming the passion they once had.

Tom lost his job. He and his wife fought about money. Eventually they divorced. One month later Tom got a new and better job. Had he and his wife pulled together they could have used the time to strengthen their relationship. Instead they destroyed their family of four.

Collins was a mega businessman and mega billionaire. He had everything he wanted. One winter he slipped on a piece of ice. He broke his leg. Two years later he was still in a wheelchair. He became severely depressed.

Phyllis was in a serous car accident. She walked with a limp. She married another patient she met at a physiotherapy clinic. She has never been so happy in all her life.

Can you pick out the winners in the above stories?

We cannot choose what happens to us. But we do have the power to choose our response. Certainly, when in the midst of a crisis, realizing this is difficult, and no one can judge us other than ourselves. But the fact is, many have benefited by a crisis.

I pray all goes well for you . . . always. But if it is not to be, do your best to respond with intelligence, dignity, and a mind seeking a silver-lining.
One thing is predictable about “life,” it has ups-and-downs. Winners accept this reality.

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Do you know what it means to listen?

November 12th, 2007 by Abe Kass

Good communication is essential for an emotionally intimate relationship. It is the bridge used to share ideas and feelings. But it is much more than that. It is a means to make the person you are talking with feel good. This is precisely why good communication is essential for marital success, as well as success in all other close relationships.

Successful communication is built around one vital skill—LISTENING.

I know what you are thinking. What’s the big deal . . . everybody knows how to listen! True. But listening is more than just hearing. Listening means giving the speaker an emotional massage—and most people don’t know how to do this.

Evaluate your listening skills:

1. When you listen, do you maintain eye contact? (yes) or (no)
2. Do you avoid interrupting the speaker? (yes) or (no)
3. Do you ignore distractions (others trying to mix-in)? (yes) or (no)
4. Hold back from completing the speaker’s sentences? (yes) or (no)
5. Give undivided attention to the speaker (you don’t look at your watch, flip through papers, etc). (yes) or (no)
6. Hold back your opinion unless asked for. (yes) or (no)
7. Summarize for the speaker what you heard said as proof you were listening. (yes) or (no)
8. Ask questions to get more information about what the speaker is discussing. (yes) or (no)
9. Try to identify and acknowledge the speaker’s feelings. (yes) or (no)
10. Listen patiently. (yes) or (no)

If you do all this you are a great listener (you answered “yes” to most of the questions). If you are married, likely you are loved. With all other people you are popular. Everyone likes an “emotional massage”—and good listening is the way to do it. If you got a low score, with a little effort, when you know what to do, you can become an expert listener. It is one of the easiest relationship dynamics to fix.

I have made a terrific little audio program to help you become an expert listener. Learn in only eight minutes a day the best way to create emotional closeness between you and others. Relationship Listening — attract the people you like and bring them close to you

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Are you happy?

November 6th, 2007 by Abe Kass

Are you happy?

Take the quiz:

1. When you go to bed, do you look forward to the next day?
   (yes) or (no)
2. When you wakeup in the morning, are you enthusiastic about
   starting your day? (yes) or (no)
3. Are you happy with whom you are? (yes) or (no)
4. Is your work satisfying? (yes) or (no)
5. Do you feel respected by others? (yes) or (no)
6. Do you love someone dearly? (yes) or (no)
7. Does someone love you dearly? (yes) or (no)
8. Do you anticipate a good future? (yes) or (no)
9. Do you trust people? (yes) or (no)
10. Do you believe in giving charity? (yes) or (no)
11. Do opportunities knock on you door? (yes) or (no)
12. Do you make serious efforts to stay healthy? (yes) or (no)

Your Score:

Add up how many times you answered “yes.” What is your totalscore?

*** If you answered “yes” to 10 or more questions, you are a“happy camper.”

** If you answered “yes” to 7 or more questions, you are moody and in need of a “happiness boost.”

* If you answered “yes” to only 5 or more questions, you are likely miserable. Sorry, I am just holding-up the mirror showing you what you disclosed.

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Five happiness strategies:

1. Be content with what you have.
2. Don’t fear change. Adjust to changing circumstances.
3. Develop friendly relations with all
4. Make sure there is ample love in your life.
5. Train your mind to “count your blessings.”

*******************

Tip for the wise:

Happy people are more popular, healthier, and get more love.

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Live your life fully with happiness and passion. Otherwise, you are ½ dead.

Yes, I know it’s difficult to always be happy. Still, most of us can . . . most of the time . . . genuinely feel happy. Need help? Try my audio program: Enter Happiness — discover how to create happy feelings.

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Posted in Quiz, Test, Happiness | Leave a Comment »