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My office

Abe Kass — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:51:45 +0000

This is where I work.

– Post From My iPhone

How to Discipline Your Son or Daughter 101

Abe Kass — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:44:03 +0000

You have a responsibility to guide your child and at times oppose what he or she wants. Parenting is not a popularity contest. When you say “NO,” you may get lots of opposition – but that’s OK. Your primary interest is in what is “good” for your son or daughter, regardless of whether he or she can recognize the wisdom of your decisions.

However, ALL discipline has to rest on bedrock of love. Your son or daughter must feel your care, love, and dedication to his or her well-being. And when this is true, your parent / child relationship is healthy. And if this is the case, even though in the moment your NO maybe resented and resisted, your overall positive relationship in the end will carry the day.

When a parent has not developed a “healthy” relationship with his son or daughter, then attempts to discipline will be perceived by the child as unfair, mean and self-serving. The result: This will weaken a child’s naturally healthy self-esteem. He or she will feel you are rejecting and uncaring. If this describes your situation, you are advised to still say “NO” when necessary – but immediately start to repair the overall feeling of your relationship; from one of hostility to one of love. Doing so will repair and go on to build strong self-esteem in your child and significantly contribute to a happy childhood and successful life as a future adult.

Be the best you can,
Abe

Charm Your Way to Success

Abe Kass — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:06:14 +0000

Researchers have carefully analyzed what types of therapy are most effective. To their surprise, not one therapeutic technique showed a clear advantage over another one. What the researchers found was what they call the “common factors” phenomena. This means that although they found evidence that psychological therapy works well, they also found that not one therapy worked any better than another. For example, cognitive therapy works to cure people no better than classical psychotherapy. What did make a difference was not the technique, but the character of the therapist. Those therapists that were kind, sincere, and could connect with their clients were the therapists that were most successful. Thus, it was these common factors such as empathy and patience that determined successful therapy, not the “sacred models” like cognitive therapy or behavioral therapy. These researchers discovered that it is the positive personal qualities of the therapist that create successful healing relationships.Value-based Person

These positive personal qualities found in successful therapists are the same characteristics of a VBP (Value-based person) and are the same ingredients that create happy lives. Mental health clients know who has it together and who does not. Moreover, so does everyone else. VBP individuals have charm, integrity, and the power to successfully influence others.

Be a “VBP”

Kindness, confidence, sincerity, truthfulness, awareness of other people’s feelings, and an optimistic disposition are some of the personal qualities of a VBP. You can acquire them with education and personal commitment to self-improvement. A VBP is always learning and always trying to add quality to his or her life and the lives of others. Every person who wants, can become a VBP. It is worth the effort, you will be liked by others, and they will help you succeed.

Consider Your Favorite Teacher?

When you were in your youth, which teacher that had the greatest positive impact on you? Can you recall what they were like? Likely you forgot the details of his or her lesson’s, but their warm and inspiring personality will remain in your heart forever.

I remember my six grade teacher Mrs. Ballou. I remember little of her formal lessons. But I do remember she introduced our class to her favorite and most unusual fruit the prickly pair. She was personable because she enjoyed us, and always had a smile on her face. She taught with gentleness and kindness. I was enriched as a person because of who she was as a person. This is why I remember her fondly. As a VBP she inspired her students to want to be like her. This was her most important lesson.

Bless Others

Let’s all try to be a VBP and contribute positively to the lives of others. Be kind even to those that insult. Be generous even to those that are not. Help even those that don’t deserve it. It is said: “He who blesses others, is blessed.” Try it—it’s true.

Feeling good about yourself is first step to relating positively with others. If you need a “feel good” boost, learn from my easy to use 8-minute a day audio program, Strong Self-esteem — like yourself now and forever. Life success requires tools. And you yourself are your most important tool. Feel good, inspire others to feel good, and live the “good life.”
http://www.wisdomscientific.com/proddetail.php?prod=503&cat=20

Wishing you the best,

Abe

Relationship success is possible – when you know how!

Abe Kass — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:32:01 +0000

Men and women are different. But how do we use these “differences” to enhance the relationship? It’s easy when you know how.

A woman wants to be acknowledged for her love and care of her family.

A man wants to be acknowledged for his dedication and protection of his family.

Here’s how to strengthen your committed relationship.
If you are a man:

-Notice and compliment your wife for all her efforts to make you happy and your home a great place to live.
-Honor her relationship expertise by seriously considering her point of view.

-Demonstrate your love and appreciation by spending time with her.

If you are a woman:

-Make your husband feel valued by asking his opinion (doing so does not mean you need to do what he says-you are only asking).

-When appropriate, be physically close to him. It makes him feel he is needed by you.

-Tell him you appreciate his contributions to the family. For example: financial, fixing things in the home, educating the children.

Give your partner an emotional kiss. This is valued by men and women alike. One of the best ways is by being an expert listener. Learn how from my terrific Relationship Listening Audio Program. There is nothing else like this little program in the entire world. Being an “expert listener” will give you the ability to generate love.

http://www.wisdomscientific.com/proddetail.php?prod=505

Wishing you the best,

Abe