Charm Your Way to Success
April 2nd, 2008 by Abe Kass
Researchers have carefully analyzed what types of therapy are most effective. To their surprise, not one therapeutic technique showed a clear advantage over another one. What the researchers found was what they call the “common factors” phenomena. This means that although they found evidence that psychological therapy works well, they also found that not one therapy worked any better than another. For example, cognitive therapy works to cure people no better than classical psychotherapy. What did make a difference was not the technique, but the character of the therapist. Those therapists that were kind, sincere, and could connect with their clients were the therapists that were most successful. Thus, it was these common factors such as empathy and patience that determined successful therapy, not the “sacred models” like cognitive therapy or behavioral therapy. These researchers discovered that it is the positive personal qualities of the therapist that create successful healing relationships.Value-based Person
These positive personal qualities found in successful therapists are the same characteristics of a VBP (Value-based person) and are the same ingredients that create happy lives. Mental health clients know who has it together and who does not. Moreover, so does everyone else. VBP individuals have charm, integrity, and the power to successfully influence others.
Be a “VBP”
Kindness, confidence, sincerity, truthfulness, awareness of other people’s feelings, and an optimistic disposition are some of the personal qualities of a VBP. You can acquire them with education and personal commitment to self-improvement. A VBP is always learning and always trying to add quality to his or her life and the lives of others. Every person who wants, can become a VBP. It is worth the effort, you will be liked by others, and they will help you succeed.
Consider Your Favorite Teacher?
When you were in your youth, which teacher that had the greatest positive impact on you? Can you recall what they were like? Likely you forgot the details of his or her lesson’s, but their warm and inspiring personality will remain in your heart forever.
I remember my six grade teacher Mrs. Ballou. I remember little of her formal lessons. But I do remember she introduced our class to her favorite and most unusual fruit the prickly pair. She was personable because she enjoyed us, and always had a smile on her face. She taught with gentleness and kindness. I was enriched as a person because of who she was as a person. This is why I remember her fondly. As a VBP she inspired her students to want to be like her. This was her most important lesson.
Bless Others
Let’s all try to be a VBP and contribute positively to the lives of others. Be kind even to those that insult. Be generous even to those that are not. Help even those that don’t deserve it. It is said: “He who blesses others, is blessed.” Try it—it’s true.
Feeling good about yourself is first step to relating positively with others. If you need a “feel good” boost, learn from my easy to use 8-minute a day audio program, Strong Self-esteem — like yourself now and forever. Life success requires tools. And you yourself are your most important tool. Feel good, inspire others to feel good, and live the “good life.”
http://www.wisdomscientific.com/proddetail.php?prod=503&cat=20
Wishing you the best,
Abe
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