Have you raised your son or daughter to conquer you?
Has your son or daughter ever asked you for permission to do something or get something, and you decide one way or another without first consulting your partner? Children are smart and naturally selfish. They understand which parent will likely say “yes” and which parent will likely say “no.” After many years of going to the “yes” parent for the desired answer, the other parent compensates becoming the “no” parent—and sadly, an unliked parent. Read more
Banish Loneliness in Three Easy Steps or What’s Wrong With Social Networking Sites
We all feel lonely at times. You may feel lonely because simply you are alone. You may feel lonely because you can’t seem to connect with the important people in your life. Or you may feel lonely for both the above reasons.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons “social networking sites” are currently so popular – it’s an easy way to connect with others. The downside is that these connections are superficial and lack genuine intimacy.
Here is a sure way to connect to new or old individuals in your life. I call it the One Two Three – Be Close to Me technique. Here are the 3 steps:
1. Ask a question that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no.”
2. Summarize the answer you hear. Don’t change anything even if you don’t like what the speaker says.
3. Repeat step #1 and #2 for a few minutes.
Doing the “One Two Three – Be Close to Me” technique makes the person answering your questions feel close to you. And if he or she returns the favor – this will come pretty close to heaven on earth. Being KNOWN is a very satisfying intimacy.
Regards,
Abe
www.WisdomScientific.com
Ears that talk!
INQUIRY: Upon sharing feelings with my wife, often she gets angry and explains to me why I shouldn’t feel that way. Needless to say, our conversations often end in arguments. All I want is a little understanding and all will be well—and remain that way.
Why is it so difficult for her to just listen to me! Am I asking for too much?
WISDOM: For most people, listening is more difficult than talking. Why? Because “talking,” rather than “listening,” is self-serving. When we talk, our egos take center stage. Simply, most people prefer:
• Expressing judgment over acceptance
• Explaining over understanding
• Getting attention rather than giving it
• Controlling a conversation over letting someone else direct it
Because of our love for “talking,” intimacy, knowledge, and trust between two beings is often impaired. This is a HIGH PRICE to pay for talking and not listening!
Suggestions:
1. When your partner/child/friend shares an important feeling—just listen. Talk only if/when asked to do so.
2. When you want to express an important feeling, start by saying, “I want to share a thought with you—please just listen.”
3. Organize with your partner some practice time. Take turns listening and talking. Tip: The “listener” should summarize what he/she heard. This is a conformation to the “talker” that the “listener” was attentive.
4. Purchase my RELATIONSHIP LISTENING AUDIO COURSE . With this program you can develop industrial strength listening skills.