Banish Loneliness in Three Easy Steps or What’s Wrong With Social Networking Sites
We all feel lonely at times. You may feel lonely because simply you are alone. You may feel lonely because you can’t seem to connect with the important people in your life. Or you may feel lonely for both the above reasons.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons “social networking sites” are currently so popular – it’s an easy way to connect with others. The downside is that these connections are superficial and lack genuine intimacy.
Here is a sure way to connect to new or old individuals in your life. I call it the One Two Three – Be Close to Me technique. Here are the 3 steps:
1. Ask a question that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no.”
2. Summarize the answer you hear. Don’t change anything even if you don’t like what the speaker says.
3. Repeat step #1 and #2 for a few minutes.
Doing the “One Two Three – Be Close to Me” technique makes the person answering your questions feel close to you. And if he or she returns the favor – this will come pretty close to heaven on earth. Being KNOWN is a very satisfying intimacy.
Regards,
Abe
www.WisdomScientific.com
Ears that talk!
INQUIRY: Upon sharing feelings with my wife, often she gets angry and explains to me why I shouldn’t feel that way. Needless to say, our conversations often end in arguments. All I want is a little understanding and all will be well—and remain that way.
Why is it so difficult for her to just listen to me! Am I asking for too much?
WISDOM: For most people, listening is more difficult than talking. Why? Because “talking,” rather than “listening,” is self-serving. When we talk, our egos take center stage. Simply, most people prefer:
• Expressing judgment over acceptance
• Explaining over understanding
• Getting attention rather than giving it
• Controlling a conversation over letting someone else direct it
Because of our love for “talking,” intimacy, knowledge, and trust between two beings is often impaired. This is a HIGH PRICE to pay for talking and not listening!
Suggestions:
1. When your partner/child/friend shares an important feeling—just listen. Talk only if/when asked to do so.
2. When you want to express an important feeling, start by saying, “I want to share a thought with you—please just listen.”
3. Organize with your partner some practice time. Take turns listening and talking. Tip: The “listener” should summarize what he/she heard. This is a conformation to the “talker” that the “listener” was attentive.
4. Purchase my RELATIONSHIP LISTENING AUDIO COURSE . With this program you can develop industrial strength listening skills.
What’s wrong with being right?
What’s wrong with being right? Plenty.
A simple social relationship works for one simple reason; the two individuals feel comfortable with each other. And two individuals feel “comfortable” when there is agreement. As 1 + 1 = 2, so too, one agreeing individual together with another agreeing individual equals friendship.
When a person places being “right” over and above “agreement,” there is dissention, arguing, and ill feeling.
Some individuals enjoy the occasional debate or competitive discussion. But in total, this form of communication must be contained and limited or destructive relationship friction will arise. Too much debating will cause friends to part-ways, husbands and wives will fall out-of-love.
You want to have solid, healthy, and long-lasting relationships. We all do. Then put “agreement” before “truth.” (The exception to this is when you need to negotiate an important decision or someone’s wellbeing is at stake.)
Hot Tip:
When you talk to your partner, friend, or even an acquaintance, put “agreement” first. For example: Your husband tells you five bits of information and you disagree with most of what he says. Pick the one thing you agree with most . . . and talk about that. Move the conversation forward with those points you agree with. Doing so will make you popular with whomever you are speaking with.
I have a great audio program that teaches healthy communication. The few dollars it cost is perhaps the greatest investment you will ever make. This program, Relationship Listening – attract the people you like and bring them close to you is an emotional aphrodisiac ensuring successful and long-lasting relationships leading to your own sustained personal happiness.
http://www.wisdomscientific.com/proddetail.php?prod=505