Banish Loneliness in Three Easy Steps or What’s Wrong With Social Networking Sites
We all feel lonely at times. You may feel lonely because simply you are alone. You may feel lonely because you can’t seem to connect with the important people in your life. Or you may feel lonely for both the above reasons.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons “social networking sites” are currently so popular – it’s an easy way to connect with others. The downside is that these connections are superficial and lack genuine intimacy.
Here is a sure way to connect to new or old individuals in your life. I call it the One Two Three – Be Close to Me technique. Here are the 3 steps:
1. Ask a question that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no.”
2. Summarize the answer you hear. Don’t change anything even if you don’t like what the speaker says.
3. Repeat step #1 and #2 for a few minutes.
Doing the “One Two Three – Be Close to Me” technique makes the person answering your questions feel close to you. And if he or she returns the favor – this will come pretty close to heaven on earth. Being KNOWN is a very satisfying intimacy.
Regards,
Abe
www.WisdomScientific.com
Thoughts that destroy!
**Moment of Wisdom #19**
by Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T.
Family Therapist, Esoteric Thinker, Author
When angry at your partner your mind does two things: 1) Repeats — you think over and over again what you are angry about and 2) Embellishes — you make up details that never happened.
Example: Your spouse insults you. 1) You mentally “repeat” the insult. This keeps your anger alive. 2) You “embellish.” This intensifies the anger.
In your head it may sound like this: “She/he insulted me. She said I was . . . (you repeat this 1,000 times).” “She/he always insults me, She/he treats me very poorly, She/he doesn’t love me (you embellished with extra thoughts that the facts (what actually happened) can’t support — see underlines.
This anger provoking thinking can continue for hours and even days gradually eroding positive feelings toward your partner.
For the health of your relationship you must stop these damaging thoughts. Here are three steps:
1. Reject anger. Recognize that keeping the anger going provides no comfort for you or improvement to your relationship. Better to kill these damaging thoughts.
2. Distract yourself. Do something in particular that engages your mind. You need to grab your attention so the unhealthy angry thoughts are replaced with more calming and healthy thoughts.
3. Stand guard against future angry thoughts. When they appear, reject them.
Relationship harmony requires not only love and attraction, but also a willingness to forgive mistakes your partner makes. This requires self discipline – specifically the rejection of angry thoughts.
The best,
Abe
Are you “beloved”? If not now, when?
IT IS INTERESTING that in death, most individuals are “beloved.” The other day, attending the funeral of a friend’s father, I had the opportunity to read the gravestones of at least one hundred individuals. Resting quietly in the ground were wives, husbands, mothers, sons and daughters-and all were “beloved.” In life, as in death, no doubt some were “beloved,” but some certainly were not. Some were liked, some tolerated, and some . . .
MY THOUGHTS: How important it is to be BELOVED IN LIFE, even more than in death. And this is the true lasting legacy we should all seek. Not just a title that conforms to social norms.
Here are some simple suggestions for being BELOVED IN LIFE:
1. Take time to listen to another. Without judgment, try to really understand what he/she is saying.
2. Express with words your appreciation, gratitude, and even love for another.
3. Prioritize giving over getting.
4. Recognize that family comes first. Peace at home is essential to meaningful success in any other endeavor (work, career, hobby, etc.).
5. Keep the “peace” by completely avoiding all expressions of anger.
You will know you are BELOVED IN LIFE when family members seek your company, ideas, and simply smile when you appear before them.