Marriage Advice for Men: How to Make a Good Wife

Mark and Pam had only been married for two months and they already needed marriage help. And if they didn’t get the right marriage advice quickly, likely they would end up hating each other and probably divorced. Here is why:

True to life vignette of two newlyweds
Mark told Pam he wanted his college buddies to join him for a birthday celebration. Pam, wanting to please him eagerly agreed. She took the better part of a day preparing sandwiches, cakes and other snacks. The day came. Mark and his friends had a great time. Mark failed to thank Pam for her efforts. She felt used.

Mark told Pam that she spent too much time on the phone. Pam decided Mark needed more attention, so when he came home in the evening she quickly got off the phone. She felt disrespected.

Mark had opinions on almost every subject. He even taught Pam how to “correctly” cut tomatoes. She felt Mark was treating her as if she was a child.

Pam wanted to make Mark “happy,” so she soldiered on, but it was not easy.

Slowly, Pam’s “marital bliss” slipped away. She ate to comfort her upset feelings. Angrily, Mark told her to go on a diet! She felt unattractive in his eyes.

Pam resented Mark’s selfish demands. She was hurt that he did not seem to care about her feelings. Slowly she lost interest in pleasing him. Instead, she became cold and argumentative.

Mark was in his own world and had no idea what happened. He felt disillusioned and confused. His attraction for Pam was decreasing rapidly.

Good marriage advice:
When Pam and Mark showed up in my office seeking help, I explained the following to Mark. It didn’t take long for Mark and Pam to improve their marriage for the better. With a little marriage help at just the right time, they became the two loving turtledoves they once were.

A woman’s nature is to nurture
An emotionally healthy woman naturally wants to please her husband. However, this “feminine instinct” reveals itself only when she feels “loved and cared for.”

A man makes a good wife
When a man criticizes his wife, disrespects her, gets angry, she stops nourishing. In place of caring and helping, she opposes — typically with words and withdrawal of affection.

Practical marriage advice for men:
1. Show gratitude. Thank you wife frequently for all she does.
2. Seek her out. Call her on the phone, ask her how she feels, ask if she needs anything.
3. When she is upset, take time and listen to her. If she is upset with you, be strong and listen. Try to understand without commentary. Ask questions.
4. Never get angry and always be kind.
5. Make her feel in all your interactions with her that she is your TOP priority.

If you are a woman, pass this advice on to your husband or boyfriend. If you are a man—memorize it. This piece of marriage advice can save your marriage and protect your family.

How to Discipline Your Son or Daughter 101

You have a responsibility to guide your child and at times oppose what he or she wants. Parenting is not a popularity contest. When you say “NO,” you may get lots of opposition – but that’s OK. Your primary interest is in what is “good” for your son or daughter, regardless of whether he or she can recognize the wisdom of your decisions.

However, ALL discipline has to rest on bedrock of love. Your son or daughter must feel your care, love, and dedication to his or her well-being. And when this is true, your parent / child relationship is healthy. And if this is the case, even though in the moment your NO maybe resented and resisted, your overall positive relationship in the end will carry the day.

When a parent has not developed a “healthy” relationship with his son or daughter, then attempts to discipline will be perceived by the child as unfair, mean and self-serving. The result: This will weaken a child’s naturally healthy self-esteem. He or she will feel you are rejecting and uncaring. If this describes your situation, you are advised to still say “NO” when necessary – but immediately start to repair the overall feeling of your relationship; from one of hostility to one of love. Doing so will repair and go on to build strong self-esteem in your child and significantly contribute to a happy childhood and successful life as a future adult.

Be the best you can,
Abe